Who's to Blame?
by busujimasaeko
Summary: Incidents of humiliation for Saeko and Takashi and how it brought them together. That is...if they will be able to find the courage to talk it over and to resolve the misunderstandings. Add to that, we have Rei still wanting to be with Takashi...resulting to a complicated situation. Takashi x Saeko
1. Blame it to the Weather

**WHO'S TO BLAME?**

Disclaimer: I don't own High School of the Dead or any of its characters.

A/N: Manga based. I think this will be a short story, at least shorter than 'bitter sweet love'. This is a romance story - of Takashi and Saeko (my favorite pair!). Again, apologies if there are some grammatical errors and some OCs. But as much as possible, i'll try to avoid having both. ^^

Hope you enjoy the story.

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><p><strong>Blame it to the weather<strong>

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><p>Takashi leaned back on the wall opposite the bathroom door, where she just disappeared into.<p>

He closed his eyes and sighed for the nth time. He felt angry at himself for allowing her to fight off the zombies alone while he rushed into the house together with everyone else. It was true that it was she who insisted for him to go together with the group because he needed to guide them into the house and to make sure that it was safe from zombies. But still he could have had more guts and say no to her. But for some reason, if it was her request, he just can't say 'no'.

But anger was just one of the mixed emotions he was currently struggling with. The more dominant emotion now was embarrassment. He gazed at the closed door before him as he recalled the series of events that caused him enough humiliation for the rest of his life.

He involuntarily placed a hand on his front, thankful that it already calmed down. Only to immediately pull his hand away. He mentally kicked himself at his perversion.

...

...

It was the typhoon's fault.

_They were on their way to the elementary school when strong winds and blasts of rain made it difficult for them to proceed. The raincoats and umbrellas they had on weren't enough to keep them dry. The rain hitting the cemented pavement muffled the sound of their footsteps and Zeke's barking. It also created a thick curtain, reducing their visibility to a bare minimum. After an hour of battling through the storm and quite a number of zombies, Saya suggested that they should take refuge for a moment, at least until the typhoon passes. Both he and Rei were against it, saying that the sooner they get to the elementary school, the better. But when Mrs. Miyamoto supported Saya's idea no one was able to argue back and they all ran to the nearest and safest looking house they could find._

_The house was a 3-bedroom and 2-floor building. It was a typical house. They got through the back door, which was easily opened using the butt of Takashi's shotgun._

_They checked the house for any zombies and were glad that there were none. And since they are all soaking wet, taking a bath and changing into dry clothes was their next priority._

_Takashi was the one who checked the first floor and secured that all windows and doors are locked. After confirming with Kota, who was in charge of checking the second floor, that the house is clean, he walked back towards the back door where they came in. He wanted to go out there and help her but upon remembering her words…that she wanted to fight alone…he held back and chose to lean against the kitchen counter and wait for her._

"_You should at least change into dry clothes Takashi" Rei whispered._

_Takashi nodded yes, but never moved nor took his eyes away from the door. The rain continued to violently pour outside and the sound was pounding loudly against his ears. _

"_Takashi…" Rei called again and tugged on his right sleeve._

"_Takashi-kun, you should take a bath and change first. We don't want our leader getting sick now, do we?" Mrs. Miyamoto said and gently pulled his arm towards the second floor bathroom._

Yes. It was Mrs. Miyamoto's fault.

He sighed and scratched the back of his head. Why did he let himself be dragged upstairs in the first place?

_He was not himself so he didn't realize that was dragged all the way upstairs. He blinked hard quite a few times before realizing that he was standing in front of the bathroom door. _

"_There you go Takashi-kun" Mrs. Miyamoto said and handed him a towel before turning to leave._

"_We will wait for her in your place. You should hurry up so that you'll be fresh when she arrives" she added with a wink as she stepped down the stair case._

_Takashi turned to see her retreating back before allowing a small smile to graze his face and whispering an inaudible thanks._

_He did as he was told. He took off his clothes, turned the shower on and started cleaning himself up. He noticed that he had a few cuts on the face and on the arms, probably scratches from their recent fight. _

_After showering, he dried himself with the towel. He then realized that he hasn't got any clothes. He looked around him and on the floor to see if there were clothes or at least an underwear that was inserted in the folded towel that Mrs. Miyamoto handed him. But there were none. He then realized that he needed to go to one of the rooms to 'borrow' some clothes._

_He then heard a distant sound from the first floor – the sound of the rain echoed through the house, followed by the howling of the wind as it entered the kitchen and then the shutting of a door. _

_She finally arrived._

..

..

The sound of the running water stopped. Seems like she's done taking a bath.

Takashi stood up straight, then leaned back against the wall, then stood up straight again. He was unsure of what to do or say to her once she steps out. He breathed deeply and attempted to calm himself. He was preparing a speech in his head and anticipating the probable questions she might ask…or at least that's what he wanted to do.

He was finding it difficult to stop blushing at the mere thought of his blunder. Forget forming a decent apology, he must first compose himself so that he doesn't look like an idiot when he faces her.

He turned his gaze at his dripping white bath towel that was hanging by the bedroom window to dry. He looked at it with spite, "_it's your fault"._

_Takashi hurriedly wrapped the towel around his waist to cover himself and stepped to leave the bathroom. His mind was in such disarray that he slipped, forgetting that his wet clothes still littered the floor. He used his arms instinctively to hold onto the door and not fall flat onto the bathroom tiles. But it caused the towel to slip off his waist._

_Again, he scrambled to his feet, kicking the wet garments to the side. He wrapped the towel around his waist once more and rushed outside._

_He was in such a hurry that he didn't notice that something or someone was there by the door. He crashed onto it.__ But instead of falling face forward, he felt something painful on his left shoulder and his gut and staggered to fall backwards._

"_Takashi?" _

_He struggled to open his eyes, momentarily forgetting the pain his body felt and feeling around his waist to check if the towel still covered the lower part of his body. Luckily, it was still in place._

"_Takashi!"_

_His vision was still hazy as he sat up. He rubbed his eyes to clear his vision and soon enough he was able to see what's in front of him. _

"_Whaaaaa" a scream escaped his lips as he scrambled back away in fear._

..

..

"I really shouldn't have shouted like a girl" Takashi told himself.

But thinking back, it was really impossible…

_When his vision cleared, he was expecting to see the second floor hallway. But the view was blocked by a bloody face with a pair of startling blue eyes. That's when he screamed._

_It took a few more seconds before his brain realized what happened. He was hit with the hilt of a sword on the shoulder and a fist on the gut. Surely, the other person was just as surprised as he is that she ended up almost knocking him unconscious._

_"Some reflex reaction she has" he thought._

_But even after realizing what was really in front of him, his madly beating heart didn't calm down. The surprise of bumping into that person was replaced by an unfamiliar sensation that just made him much much more nervous._

_Her face so close to his' that their noses almost touch. His eyes travelled down onto her full red lips, making him lick his lips involuntarily, before his gaze continue down her chest which showed a good view of her cleavage._

_He found it hard to breath for a moment. Before she thankfully stood up straight._

_"Are you okay Takashi?" she asked._

_He attempted to say yes, but when he was figured out he wasn't capable of speech, he just nodded._

_Her standing posture made it easier for him to have a full view of her. Her clothes were covered and blood and torn in the perfect places, revealing the side of her breast, her navel and the part of her black thong. And since he was sitting on the floor, he can clearly see the underside of her underwear. Thoughts of her wearing nothing but an apron and a thong flooded his mind._

_Takashi swallowed hard to push back the lump in his throat. He shook his head violently to drive the crazy thoughts away. It helped him clear his mind and made him finally realize that there were not only one, but seven sets of eyes on him._

_He gasped in surprise._

_He crawled back a few more paces…away from her…away from everyone else. But it proved to be a bad move because then, they had a clear view of his fully erect front. The white towel around his waist wasn't enough to hide the bulge._

_His 'excited state' was one thing to be embarrassed about, but what was even more embarrassing was that it wasn't him who noticed it first. It was her._

_"Takashi…your…your…" her eyes widened in what seem to be a look of horror as she stretched her arms and pointed her index finger on Takashi's middle._

_He followed where she was pointing at and saw that he was really standing up. He hurriedly looked around for an exit and saw the open bathroom door beside her._

_He clutched his middle and scrambled up to his feet. While crouching, he rushed to the bathroom. His movements made the towel on his waist loosen so before he reached the bathroom door, the towel fell to the floor._

_Her eyes got impossibly larger as a fully naked Takashi stood before her. Takashi saw the terrifying look she was giving him…though her eyes were directed to his middle._

_He blushed. To be more specific, his whole body turned red. He hesitated between picking up the fallen towel or rushing inside the bathroom._

_Again, he made the wrong decision by choosing to pick up the towel. With all the chaos and with his clumsiness, he hadn't noticed the pool of water by the bathroom door and for the second time that day slipped forward, falling on top of her._

_She fell backward with a thud. And when everything was over, he found himself straddling her, both of his hands and legs where on either side of her. And his fully exposed and hard middle was pushing against hers'._

_She blushed profusely._

_Rei shouted and covered her eyes._

_Mrs. Miyamoto sighed._

_Kota covered Alice's eyes._

_Zeke barked._

_Shizuka-sensei smiled._

_Saya stomped her feet in annoyance. "Takashi you pervert!" she exclaimed._

_Everyone's stares made him want to dig a hole and hide for the rest of eternity. Forget about explaining, he just wanted to escape the embarrassing situation._

_He hurriedly pick up the towel, cover his front and ran to the bathroom. And as he was about to close the door, the terrified look on her face caught his eyes. For a second he looked at her...looked at Saeko-san...held her gaze. He slightly bowed his head and mouthed an apology, wishing she understood... He then shut the door._

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><p>AN: Expression of gratitude for my previous story...Thanks for those all the comments for 'Bitter Sweet Love' especially to _strike master ice_ and _otaku-SIG._ To _Mr. Chupid_, i will think about your suggestion.

The story is based on the manga. For those who haven't read the manga yet, here are some info (spolers): the gang went the police station to look for Rei's father but it was already empty when they arrive there. They found out that the emergency evacuation location is the elementary school where Takashi's mother works. So they all plan to go there after going back to their neighborhood to save Rei's mom. They did find Mrs. Miyamoto and she joins the group.


	2. Saeko's Embarrassment

**WHO'S TO BLAME?**

Disclaimer: I don't own High School of the Dead or any of its characters.

A/N: Manga based. I think this will be a short story, at least shorter than 'bitter sweet love'. This is a romance story - of Takashi and Saeko (my favorite pair!). Again, apologies if there are some grammatical errors and some OCs. But as much as possible, i'll try to avoid having both. ^^

The first chapter is Takashi's story, so it's only fair that this time...it is Saeko's. Hope you enjoy it.

Warning: rated M for some lemony parts... _

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><p><strong>2: Saeko's embarrassment<strong>

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><p>Saeko winced as she gently cleaned the wound near her shoulder using the disinfectant that Shizuka-sensei gave her. The towel was wrapped around her body and she was seating on the toilet as she mended the scratches she got from her recent fight. None was fatal, but still painful. She took her time. Not bothering to hurry up and leave the security provided by the four tiled walls, but still knowing that she still has to go out there somehow.<p>

She knew Takashi was waiting for her. And she was afraid to face him - because she was embarrassed. The chaos that happened earlier made her remember the night she lost control and forced Takashi into something he may have regretted. Seeing Takashi's exposed self earlier made her think of inappropriate thoughts and feel inappropriate feelings. She wanted to rush to the bathroom and drench herself into cold water to wash away the heat emanating from her body. She felt humiliated at her thoughts and prayed hard no one noticed. As Takashi rushed to the bathroom, everyone laughed...thankfully. Saeko laughed with them momentarily forgetting her carnal desires.

Saeko stared at the closed bathroom door as if she can clearly see what's on the other side. She can hear Takashi faint footsteps, he's probably pacing outside as he waited for her to come out. Saeko wished he'd just leave, but she knew better.

And once more, the memory she kept locked inside the depths of her mind resurfaced. It was the incident and the feelings she had in that temple, which she wished to erase. It was the most humiliating moment of her life. She knew she has a strong and dominant personality when it comes to fighting, but elsewhere, she always maintained a calm and cool demeanour.

She was always in control of her actions and she usually keeps her emotions in check. But that particular night, her brain went haywire and forgot how to function properly. For as long as she can remember, she hasn't lost control of her emotions and her desires ever...the night with Takashi was the first. And the look of disbelief he gave her before it happened made her feel ashamed of her actions...but she was out of control and she wasn't able to stop. The gravity of what she did only sank in the morning after and it never left.

Saeko sighed. Thinking back who should really be blamed.

_She wanted to blame herself for suddenly telling him her story...blame the circumstance of being alone with him in a dark and abandoned temple...blame the silent gush of the wind and rustle of the leaves that lulled her into comfort...blame the effect of the warm candlelight on his eyes as she looked at her with concern...blame her madly beating heart as she stared back into his dark brown eyes...blame her overly sensitive senses as his simple touch sent waves of electricity to her whole body...blame her lack of self-control for being drawn into him as he inched closer to her...blame her hands for unconsciously moving to grasp his hair as their passionate kiss deepens...blame her uncontrollable desire to want more than just kisses and touches. _

_That night, she lost control and felt like she'd go crazy if all of it will stop. So without thinking, she violently pushed him to the floor and unceremoniously removed all the impeding garments on him. She did see a glint of surprise and hesitation in his eyes at her bold actions. However, she chose to ignore it and just proceeded to kissing him hungrily and grabbing his front making Takashi gasp._

_It was painful when Takashi entered her, but she endured it. She harshly pulled him once in a while to kiss him as he pounded her. It ended too soon, but Takashi already looked tired. He laid flat on the wooden floor trying to catch his breath. But not a minute passed when Saeko felt that her body wanted more…that she wanted more._

_So she engaged him into a passionate kiss once again. He asked her to stop, but his request fell on deaf ears. And as Saeko pressed herself firmly against him, she felt his manhood harden once more. He gave in. And soon, the battle of tongues ensued and it led to touching and embracing and eventually into something more. _

_As they both reached their second climax, two bodies collapsed on the floor side by side. Both panting and tired, but equally satisfied, at least Saeko was._

_She closed her eyes, wanting to doze off and rest when she felt clammy arms slung across her sweaty naked body. Takashi pulled her into a tight embrace and whispered the three words she wasn't expecting to hear. And for the first time that night, she was the one that was surprised. She wanted to respond that she feels the same way. She herself was puzzled as to when and how she started falling for him...she just did. __However, her mind was too tired to process anything and she was too exhausted to respond, so she just closed her eyes once more and allowed sleep to finally claim her._

_Morning came a little too early than she had wanted that day. She woke up sore, tired and with a splitting headache. She was used to the pain, except for the one she felt in her middle, but she chose to ignore it. She stared at the ceiling for a moment before deciding to stand up. However, she found herself trapped in a pair of arms and legs._

_She felt secured in his embrace, but at the same time self-conscious at their interminggled naked bodies. She blushed. She was torn between pulling herself away from him or staying there a while longer until he wakes up. But she knew better._ _So_ s_he tentatively shifted her leg for starters, but realized that it was a wrong move. She blushed deeper as she felt his manhood pressed against her leg. She froze for a moment as all the events that transpired the previous night rushed to her head - every little detail of it._

_She remembered how surprised he was at her actions and that he even hesitated before he entered her. It was she who urged him to continue... and to do it not only once but twice._

_After that incident, Saeko tried to distance herself from Takashi. The topic was never brought up, probably because there wasn't any chance as she tried not to be alone with him too much. Except for the time when she went to Takashi's room right after her conversation with Takagi's father. She momentarily forgot that she was avoiding him because she needed to talk to him about their situation and to plan their next strategy. _

_Unexpectedly, but thankfully, Rei was there and they seemed to be sharing a passionate moment. It was slap of reality for Saeko because it made her realize that the night they shared meant nothing to him...that he just gave into lust and allowed himself to be dragged by Saeko's desires. His declaration of love may have been something he just blurted out because of what they did. _

_Takashi was in love with Rei and Saeko knew it. _

_Saeko forced herself to smile and convinced herself to be glad. Repeatedly telling herself it was what she expected and wanted. She was just stupid to be worrying over something that meant nothing to Takashi. __But somehow, it still hurt._

Saeko closed her eyes and focused on the present. She scolded herself for being bothered by issues that have already been resolved and for mulling over things that already have passed.

She breathed deeply and straightened herself up. She put on the clothes Saya handed while conditioning her mind and put on the facade of the Saeko everyone knew her to be.

In a matter of seconds, she was able to shake herself out of reverie. So when she went out the bathroom, she smiled a sweet smile and greeted Takashi who was leaning on the wall across the bathroom.

"You needed to use the toilet Takashi-kun?"

Takashi seem to be lost in thought and jumped at her sudden appearance. He shook his head, scratched the back of his head and averted his gaze from her. "I wanted to talk to you", he mumbled.

Saeko kept her smile, "about what?" She shifted the wet clothed on her other hand as she closed the bathroom door behind her and walked up to him.

Takashi shifted uncomfortably, clearly unsure of the words he needed to say, "about something we should have talked about a long time ago"

Saeko's eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

"We haven't had a chance to talk about what happened back at the temple..." Takashi trailed off.

He then glanced at Saeko and saw the surprised look on her face. He back stepped and raised his hands in front of him..."b-b-but if you don't want to talk about it, its okay..."

Now it was Saeko that was a loss for words. _Why?_ she questioned inwardly.

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><p>AN: Again thanks for reading the story and sorry if it took a long time to put up the next chapter.

I just wanted to try writing another side of Saeko...a bit different from how she was in bitter sweet love. But I still hope you like this chapter.


	3. The Courageous and The Coward

**WHO'S TO BLAME?**

Disclaimer: I don't own High School of the Dead or any of its characters.

A/N: Just wanted to repeat and make it clear that this is a Takashi-Saeko love story until the end. Also, I wanted to inform the readers in advance that this chapter is a bit dramatic.

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><p><strong>03: The Courageous and the Coward<strong>

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><p>When Takashi saw the surprised look on Saeko-san's face, he knew he was done for. Her eyes widened, her mouth fell open and her shoulders tensed. But the worst part of it all was the silence, the unbearable silence that lasted for what seems like forever.<p>

Takashi started beating his inner self to pulp for listening to Saya's words.

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><p>Earlier that day:<p>

"Hiding won't help you, you're not that stupid to not know that Takashi!" Saya said with an irritated tone as she went inside the bedroom where Takashi took refuge after leaving the bathroom.

Takashi wanted to bury himself to escape the shame, but ended up locking himself in one of the second floor rooms. He was currently cuddled down facing the corner, hugging his knees closer to his chest.

"Not now Saya-san" Takashi mumbled.

"You look like an idiot" Saya annoyingly said.

"I know"

"Then what are you still doing here? Go down there and act like the leader that we expect you to be!" Saya's voice was rising up a notch with vein popping in her temples. "What are you moping around for anyway?"

"Do I really have to answer that? I thought you are the intelligent one?" he responded meekly.

This really pushed the last button of Saya causing her annoyance to reach the maximum level. With heavy steps she approached Takashi and pulled up his right arm up. This made Takashi look up and at that very second Saya's right palm connected with Takashi's left cheek. The slap resounded in the quiet room for a second before Saya let go of his arm forcefully, making him fall down on his bottom.

"Don't get smart with me! Of course I know why you're sulking! So man up and snap out of it. Sulking about your embarrassment won't change a thing about what happened earlier and you know that. So I really hate it that I even need to tell you just so your puny little brain can understand it. Everyone had a good laugh and it was really a spectacle, but so what? Did your status as a leader change? No. Did we stop being comrades? No. So what's the big deal?"

Takashi was stunned. Again, every word Saya said was true. It always is. He felt stupid at that very moment, upon realizing that he liked being scolded. Luckily, there is someone like Saya, who acts like a mother and a teacher, who knows how to snap him out of reverie.

"I know. You're right." He mumbled while scratching the back of his head.

"Of course I'm right. I always am." Saya said proudly. "And while we're at it, I'll max out my scolding because time has gone by and you still haven't solved your other problem."

"Now don't start shouting again and I know you'll say I'm stupid again, but what are you talking about?" Takashi responded perplexed.

Takashi's response made Saya laugh. So instead of being annoyed, she went straight to the point. "Saeko-san."

Takashi swallowed hard. "What about her?"

"Now it is my turn to say this but, do I really need to answer that? Don't group me with those other people who haven't seen through you're dilemma since the time you were alone with Saeko-san on your way to my house. Of course I do not know the details, that's a story for you tell and for me to listen" she said with a smirk.

"What happened back then was obviously a mistake" he grumbled.

Saya was surprised at Takashi's answer. She only heard those words from coming from playboys, after one night stands, in western movies.

"Takashi, you're such a playboy!" Saya exclaimed.

Takashi raised his arms in defense. "I'm sorry, I never meant to force her into doing it."

Saya's blood pressure lowered down a bit and she carefully studied Takashi. "I know you're brave when fighting zombies, but to actually be able to force Saeko-san into doing it with you required another level of courage. I guess I misjudged you" Saya said earnestly. "Either that, or I'm missing something" she continued.

Takashi looked around as if a zombie is eavesdropping in their conversation. And in hushed voice he said, "now don't tell a soul Saya, promise me!"

Saya wanted to laugh at Takashi's action but she just nodded yes.

"Well, Saeko-san shared her past with me, which I obviously cannot share with you because she'd literally kill me. And it brought back emotions and memories which has shaken up Saeko-san to the point that she lost it. I haven't seen her like that and I hated it. She's totally different from the Saeko that I knew so I ended up consoling her and it led to...that."

"It led to?" Saya inched her ear closer.

"Oh come on Saya-san!" Takashi blushed and moved farther.

Saya stopped teasing and repeated Takashi's words in her head. "So you mean you took advantage of her momentary emotional weakness and did it with her?"

"To put it bluntly, yes" Takashi said sadly.

"What if she wanted to do it with you as well? What if it was not an 'accident'?"

"I tried clarifying it with her in the morning, but she wouldn't want to talk about it. And as soon as we get to your place, it felt like she's distancing herself from me"

"Well, if I were to take Saeko-san's personality into consideration, not saying that I know her full well though. Saeko-san may have been physically and emotionally exhausted that night, but she never loses control over herself. So I am guessing she may also be attracted to you that's why she allowed it to happen. And as to the part where she's avoiding you, it is possible, considering that something happened between the two of you already and you still stuck to Rei like glue. Any woman would be confused as to what your true intentions are and in result, would choose to distance themselves from the guy to avoid any further heartbreak."

"But I do like her!" Takashi exclaimed. But upon realizing his sudden admittance of his feelings, his face flushed red and looked away.

Saya gave him a toothy grin. "I know. But why are you flirting with Rei then?"

"I am not flirting with her!"

"Then what is Rei to you?"

"She was my first love."

"Was?"

"Yes"

"You mean you're..."

"Yes, I'm over her" Takashi sadly admitted.

"Since when did you realize?"

"The day when I met Saeko-san. It was weird, I haven't looked or appreciated any other girl aside from Rei my whole life. I know it sounds pathetic, but that's the truth. And the more I get to know her, the more I realized that I am falling for her" Takashi felt really embarrassed saying it to Saya, of all people. But strange enough, voicing it out made his heart feel a little lighter.

True, Saya was starting to get annoyed at the cheesiness of it all. But seeing that sincere and honest look in Takashi's eyes while admitting his feelings for Saeko-san is something that negates all the irritations she's feeling. She may have given up her chances on Takashi, probably that is why at that very moment, she actually felt happy for her friend - something that she won't admit to him of course.

"Well Mr. Lover Boy. If you're done being sentimental and all, I guess we need to move to having a game plan. How do you expect to handle this? As you know, every minute counts. We don't even know if we'll have another chance at having a secluded safe place like this to take refuge. So I suggest you take this moment of privacy and take the bull by the horn and save yourself and Saeko-san from unnecessary anxiety."

"I need to talk to her now" he said still in a daze. Confused, nervous, excited and a lot of emotions swarming in his stomach make him feel sick and nauseous.

"Congratulations for figuring it out Einstein" Saya said sarcastically.

"But what am I supposed to say? I can't think of anything."

"When you had se-"

"Saya-san!" Takashi exclaimed.

"What? Embarrassed to hear it? It's the truth, face it and deal with it!" Saya scolded.

Takashi bowed his head and tried to calm his loudly beating heart.

"Geez, just hearing about it causes you to have a heart attack. So I was saying, when you did it with her, what were you thinking?"

"I wasn't thinking..." he responded.

"Now, answer my questions without thinking. do you want to be together with Saeko-san?"

"Yes" Takashi immediately responded.

"Now?"

"If possible, yes"

"Why?"

"I don't know. I just do."

"Then go talk to her and confess to her. Ask her if she's willing to be together with you"

"You made it sound so simple" Takashi complained.

"Because it is. Why are you trying to complicate things?"

"And what if she's angry at me for what happened that night?" Takashi said worriedly.

"Then at least that's one question answered for you and one thing off your mind. At least you don't have to wonder about what ifs anymore. And anyway, its the end of the world, what else could possibly be worse?"

Takashi thought about it for a moment. Reality is, either one of them could die the moment they step out of the house. The world around them is falling apart. There is nothing more to lose.

He then remembered how long it took him to confess to Rei, only to find out that she already fallen for someone else, that if he'd only done it sooner, then he would have been together with Rei. He made a mistake of being a coward once, he won't make it again. His feelings for Saeko-san were different than what he felt for Rei. Instead of wanting to protect Saeko-san, he wanted to fight side by side with her. Instead of seeing her as a girl to pamper and take care of, he sees Saeko-san as someone that complements him and fills his gaps and misses – she brings out the best in him.

With this renewed courage, he set out to talk to Saeko-san.

"You are and always will be an idiot" Saya shook her head while watching Takashi go out and face what could possibly be the start, or end, of his world.

* * *

><p><em>Say something Saeko-san...please, <em>he closed his eyes and prayed.

Takashi opened his eyes once again and it settled on her half-open moist, luscious, red lips. It then roamed on her dripping hair that stuck to her soft white neck and down to her full chest. Her still wet body clung to the thin white fabric that appeared to be her clothes. The way she looked now and all the memories of that eventful night together, at the same time, in his brain is not doing him any good. He can feel every muscle in his body tensing up and he knew that if she remained this close to him, he might just jumped onto her and start harassing her – just like what he did at the temple.

_"Just focus on your objective Takashi. Focus on clarifying things with her_" he told himself.

"Saeko-san?" he croaked with much difficulty, trying to wake her and himself out of daze.

Saeko seemed to have shaken out of daze and attempted to look at Takashi in the eye. She's used to having eye contact to read the other person's thoughts and emotions. But now, she was not able to do it with the fear that he will be able to read hers, all the more she's convinced that she wanted to avoid the impeding discussion.

Saeko doesn't want to talk about it, seeing as it was that very memory that she was handling with much difficulty earlier. But to just dismiss a request for a conversation about the issue would make Takashi all the more curious. On the other hand, agreeing to discuss it now would mean opening up wounds of embarrassment, uncertainties and unbounded expectations.

She glanced at Takashi for a brief moment and saw his unwavering and expectant eyes, waiting for her response. She immediately looked away because it was unbearable for her. She is very confident in her ability to control her emotions, but for some reason, when she's in front of Takashi, her self control weakens and her fragile self is left for him to see. And she knew that the longer she stayed under Takashi gaze, the more her face would flush and her heartbeat would quicken...no matter how much she tries to will it not.

She was much too absorbed in her own thoughts that she failed to notice that Takashi was reaching out to touch her arm, probably in an attempt to get her attention seeing as she hasn't uttered a single word nor exhibited a response on his request. And as expected, the moment she felt his soft warm skin against hers, all of memories and emotions - of love and desire, that with much difficulty she tried to hide are surfacing once again.

And at that moment, she doesn't know what she wanted anymore.

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><p>AN: To _xJ11Cx_, my apologies for the misunderstanding. When I said it was based on the manga, i was only referring to the fact that Rei's mom is in the story. Guess, I should have phrased it more clearly ^^.

To everyone who dropped a review and added the story to your favorites, thanks!


	4. No one to blame but me

**WHO'S TO BLAME?**

Disclaimer: I don't own High School of the Dead or any of its characters.

A/N: Just wanted to repeat and make it clear that this is a Takashi-Saeko love story until the end. If you are a Rei-Takashi fan, read at your own risk. I tried to make the characters 'in-character', though i may have some OCs once in a while due to my interpretations of their inner thoughts and how they would react to certain situations. Just thought I'd warn you in advance. Happy reading.

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><p>04: No one to blame but me<p>

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><p>Saeko was at a total loss. Her whole body tingled to feel the same touch. Yet, denying this very same fact in her brain.<p>

"_Why does Takashi have this effect on me?" _Saeko asked herself.

She was starting to tremble in the attempt to contain her desire and emotions inside. She wanted to blame Takashi for making her bringing out the weakness inside of her. But she blamed herself more for having that weakness in the first place.

She stepped back a little and controlled her breathing, at the moment, recalling her father's words, _being ruled by your emotions in the battlefield will make you irrational and weak_.

_I know father..._ she whispered to herself.

Meanwhile, Takashi removed his hand from Saeko and gave her some space. She seemed to have broken out of her trance and was taking time to calm herself down.

It seemed to him like he wasn't the only one fussing over their 'intimate incident'. Saeko had always been collected even when faced with thousands of zombies. But just mentioning the incident resulted to Saeko-san's discomfort. All the more he realized that they had to clear this issue between them.

Not a minute has passed when Saeko was eventually able to calm down.

"It's okay Takashi. I'm sorry for spacing out just now, I was just a little tired." She said, before she every changes her mind.

It was her pride that made her agree to his request. Saying 'no' and finding excuses to elude the talk will make her a coward, something that she was not.

However, Saeko was still worried about 2 things, first is her ability or inability to maintain her rational way of thinking until the very end of their conversation and second is fear of what he will say and what will happen after their conversation. If he happens to blame her for what happened or says that it was just a mistake...a spur of the moment, what will she say? Will she say that it was just nothing for her, what does that make her? A slut? Saeko shivered at the thought. However, she knew that all those questions will only be answered if she proceeded with the conversation.

So she decided to stay firm and put on an iron mask so that she can hold on until they finish. She chose to have a little more faith in her wit and her ability to get out of this situation.

Takashi nodded dumbly, still a little surprised that he was eventually able to make her agree.

Saeko watched him in amusement. The confidence he showed previously was slowly disappearing and was being replaced by hesitation.

She saw him clench his fist and close his eyes, then breathed out loudly before opening his eyes once again and looking at her straight in the eyes.

"I-i-i..." Takashi stuttered.

Saeko held her breath and waited.

He stopped and cleared his throat. Saeko sighed in relief for a moment then her heartbeat quicken when he started to speak once again.

"What I meant to say was..." he stopped the second time and started to blush. He then scratched the back of his head, looked to his side and started pounding his chest with his clenched was obviously very very nervous.

"No, let me say this again. I think that I..." he stopped again.

He looked at her apologetically and said, "wait just a while Saeko-san".

Saeko looked at him questioningly.

He then turned to face the wall. A faint sound of something hitting the wall was heard, followed by what sounded like 'ouch'.

After a moment, he turned around again but this time his face was contorted in pain and he was wriggling his hand. He seemed to have punched the wall due to his frustration. What was even more funny was the failed attempt of suppressing the pain from showing on his face and acting as if nothing happened.

At first, Saeko's heart was pounding at the anticipation, though her face remained stoic. She was hanging to each of Takashi's words while he attempted again and again to put into words his thoughts. All those time, Saeko was sure he will be able to continue only to be repeatedly disappointed.

However, seeing Takashi in so much difficulty, and realizing that saying his true intentions for talking to her was impossible, made her realize how funny their situation was. That, and add Takashi's stunt of punching a solid wall made her laugh.

Takashi stopped. "You found my predicament funny, do you?" he pouted.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh..." she said in between giggles, until she laughed out openly.

Takashi blushed but smiled, finding amusement at his own stupid action.

"Well I'm glad you found my pain and difficulty funny." He added.

"Don't be angry" she said. "Here, let me look at your knuckle. Was it wood or cement?" she asked still giggling as she extended her arm and reached out to him.

"Cement..." Takashi looked surprised. "How did you know I punched..."

"Give me more credit than that Takashi" she said proudly.

Takashi reluctantly showed her his red and swollen knuckle.

Saeko reached out and caressed his hand and said, "we'd better go down and get some ice for this".

This simple act made their faces turn red. Realizing a second too late at how each made the other feel.

They were quiet for a moment. Takashi moving uncomfortably close to Saeko, as she caressed his swollen hand. Neither was looking at the other, but both hearts were beating like drums against their chests.

"Thanks" he muttered, having great difficulty in getting the words out of his throat. "But I haven't..." Takashi said upon remembering their current situation.

"Probably some other time Takashi" Saeko said thoughtfully, "for now, we need to get your hand fixed before we go out to face Them"

Saeko was glad to weasel out of the situation, an outcome that is unexpected but all the more favorable for her. She wanted to put off the conversation for a while longer so she can think of possible scenarios and outcomes then plan her reaction and responses ahead of time.

And as Saeko lift her gaze, from the corner of her eye, she saw Rei standing at the top of the stairs a few paces behind Takashi. But Takashi doesn't seem to have noticed her yet.

Rei probably didn't know that Saeko has already seen her because she may have thought that Takashi was blocking her view. Until that moment, Rei hasn't announced her presence and just remained motionless.

"Saeko-san, please just hear me out" Takashi began again. This time, he sounded more sure of himself.

"Not now Takashi" she whispered sternly. Her mind was taken off of the topic because she was focused on thinking how long Rei had been there and what she had heard and seen. She was replaying the recent scene in her head but found that nothing in their conversation or in their reactions could have given away that something had happened between them.

Takashi was not backing out. The tension had already been broken due to the comic break and he had once again calmed down. His resolve was coming back and the reason of this conversation was becoming clearer in his mind again. He reminded himself that he may never have the chance to have this talk with Saeko-san. But his stronger motivation was that he never wanted to commit the same mistake he did with Rei.

Sure this conversation was unnerving to the point that he has forgotten how to speak. But this has to be done. He has expended effort, energy and much needed confidence to stand in front of Saeko-san to declare his intentions. He wasn't sure if he will be able to gain the same courage again, so he has to do it now.

_Calm down and stop thinking_, he said to himself.

"What happened at the temple was not an accident Saeko-san" he began again. He sounded a little more confident but his voice was still trembling.

These words made Saeko turn her focus back to him. Unsure if she heard him correctly, she turned to look at his eyes.

"At least not for me" he gulped and maintained her eye contact, all the while fighting the crimson hue on his cheeks from showing too much.

Saeko equally blushed as her heart began pounding loudly once again.

_Not now Takashi._

Her thoughts were in turmoil, wanting him to continue because she liked what he was saying yet wanting him to stop seeing as Rei was there to hear every word of it.

She knew that Rei has feelings for Takashi. Handling Takashi's and her own emotions had given her so much head ache already, now she has to consider Rei's as well.

"When we kissed..."

Rei's eyes widened.

Saeko's eyes widened.

Rei clenched her fist.

Saeko clenched her fist.

"Takashi..." Saeko whispered in surprise.

"Takashi!" Rei exclaimed.

Both spoke at the same time.

Takashi stopped and turned upon hearing Rei's voice from behind him. He was motionless, but Saeko didn't see any hint of being startled or shaken at the sudden appearance of Rei.

"Is there anything you need Rei?" Takashi said calmly.

She was expecting that he would panic in fear, but Saeko never saw any of that. His voice sounded even without any hint of worry. This made her feel a little happier, something that surprised her.

_Had I accepted that I am indeed in love with Takashi? _She asked. _Am I glad that Takashi's okay though he knew that Rei heard all of it?_

She found this to be impossible because she had ensured that her heart is fully guarded from the idea of loving and being loved.

The moment she learned about her sadistic side, she also accepted the fact that she can't possibly be in a relationship, because she was sure that the moment the guy learns about her secret, he will be disgusted with her and leave her. Even she was scared and resentful of that side of her.

This had made her insecure and for this very reason, she never had the courage or the intention of confessing to any guy she has fallen in love with. And she has programmed her mind that it is impossible for her to be in a romantic relationship.

However, Takashi proved her wrong. He knew her secret, yet nothing changed with the way he acted around her. And if she had guessed correctly, him knowing about her secret just made him more protective of her and they became even closer. An idea that Saeko's closed mind was finding hard to accept.

Add to that, she had embarrassed herself to death when she engaged Takashi in a sexual incident which happened because she was unable to control her lust. She had blamed her inability to control herself countless of times and had evaded facing that particular topic again and again, up to the point of trying to distance herself from the man himself. Only to find out that she will be unable to escape the situation because the more she moves away, the more fate finds a way to bring them closer.

She was confident that her growing feelings for Takashi will not become something more because he is already in a mutual understanding with Rei. But if that were true, why is it that he is standing there non-chalantly as if what Rei heard was nothing to be worried about? She was sure Rei heard Takashi's last words and that Takashi was also aware of this fact. Again with the way he reacted, Takashi has proven her wrong.

Lastly, Takashi has made her calculations wrong when he gathered up enough courage to talk to her about their intimate moment. She had always believed Takashi will never have the courage to bring up the topic, but he did.

"Saeko-san, T-takashi...e-e-everyone's waiting for you downstairs. Mother has prepared dinner" she said. Her face was crimson and her eyes were brimming with tears. Without waiting for a response, she walked down the stairs to leave.

"She heard" It was a statement Takashi whispered more to himself than to Saeko.

"I believe yes. And you had made her cry" Saeko said teasingly in an attempt to lighten up the mood.

"We should probably follow her down" he said with a small smile.

"Yes, we should."

They both walked silently to join everyone for dinner.


	5. Contradictions

**WHO'S TO BLAME?**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I don't own High School of the Dead or any of its characters.

**A/N:** Thank you very much for all the positive comments and follows/favorites! You really have kept me going and have given me the will to continue this story...haha!

**Warnings:**

1. Takashi & Saeko love story...so to all Rei-Takashi fans, I am not sure you'll enjoy this.

2. Rei and Saeko's POV in this chapter. I really wanted to put in my own opinion on Rei's side of the story and they are not all good. I am a Saeko fan anyway.

3. I am not really fast in updating. Sorry about that. So before you read on, take this in to mind and consider yourselves warned before continuing reading this chapter.

4. A little too much drama. Again...be warned.

5. My grammar is not perfect.

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><p><strong>05: CONTRADICTIONS<strong>

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><p>Saeko stopped thinking as she and Takashi followed Rei down the stairs and into the dining room. When Rei sat down, Saeko noticed that there are only two remaining chairs, one beside Rei and the other directly across the table, beside Mrs. Kiriko Miyamoto. Saeko walked a little faster and went on ahead of Takashi to seat beside Mrs. Miyamoto.<p>

Takashi stopped in his tracks upon realizing the seating arrangement. He turned to look at Saeko. They held each other's gaze for a moment, having a mental conversation.

Takashi raised both his eyebrows, '_why?' _he seemed to ask.

Saeko pursed her lips and looked at the seat beside Rei as if saying _'just sit down and don't say anything'._

Takashi furrowed his brows... _'but Saeko-san...'_ he said in his mind.

Saeko slowly shook her head, responding with her thoughts _'no more questions Takashi'_. And to emphasize the finality, she turned away from him and smiled warmly at Mrs. Miyamoto and saying her thanks for preparing their meal.

The silent conversation between the two didn't go unnoticed. Takashi hasn't even realized but all conversations have died down and all secretly turned their attention on them. Saya suppressed a grin before turning to converse once again with Kota about budgeting and managing their remaining weaponry.

Saeko was able to breathe when the conversations went back to normal. Takashi may not have noticed, but she did...that everyone was observing their every move.

On the other hand, the simple act got into Rei's nerve even more, making the tears she was trying so much to hold back to well up from her eyes once more. What she heard, that Takashi kissed Saeko-san, was not a surprise. She was not blind. Everyone could see the Takashi was slowly falling for Saeko-san. Only Zeke would be oblivious of this matter. But she still had hope because Saeko-san doesn't seem to return his feelings. Seeing this development has threatened her position in Takashi's heart, thus, pushing her to resort to drastic measures.

Rei used whatever love Takashi has, or wished he still have, left for her and tried to seduce him. And she almost succeeded because they almost did it. Fate must be against them, because at that time, her body was still sore from the time she fell from the humvee so when Takashi touched her chest, she winced in pain causing Takashi to stop. She wanted to urge him to continue, but his indifferent expression made her oblige to his request to leave and ask for Shizuka-sensei's help to heal her.

She even shamelessly declared her love for Takashi saying that she wants to be with him even if she falls for another girl. At that time, she said it out of desperation, not knowing that actually seeing it – seeing Takashi and Saeko-san together, will hurt like hell. She doesn't understand why no matter how much she pushes herself to be closer to him...the farther he gets.

And as she walked away from him that time, she can't help but blame herself. She had brought this upon herself. There was a time when she monopolized Takashi's heart and mind. She was not oblivious of his feelings for her back then because she harbored the same feelings for him as well. But her pride had stopped her from confessing first and just waited for him. However, days, months, years have passed and still their relationship as friends never went a step further.

She was angry at him for making her wait for so long. So when Hisashi confessed to her, she accepted Hisashi without any hesitations. Destiny had also been cruel to her and Takashi, because a month after she and Hisashi started going out, Takashi confessed. Of course she declined Takashi's confession for she already had a boyfriend and because she was still angry at Takashi for not having the courage to ask her out. She was angry, so she purposefully broke his heart.

Then, Z -day came and her luck wasn't any better...because soon after, Hisashi died.

She had no one else to lean on but Takashi and so she did. And during the time that they were alone, when Takashi repeatedly saved and helped her from near death situations, she had reaffirmed to herself that Takashi was still hers despite everything she has done.

Until the time when Busujima Saeko came...

Rei was jealous of all the attention Takashi was giving Saeko-san. She started noticing the obvious difference with the way Takashi treated her and Saeko-san when they were at Shizuka-sensei friend's house. Rei had purposefully worn revealing clothes back then, yet all she got as a blank look from Takashi (even asking if she was just drunk). But when he saw Saeko-san, he freaked out and covered his front, obviously his manhood tensed up just at the sight of Saeko-san. What irritated her more is that Saeko-san had no intention of looking good to seduce Takashi. It just so happen that the apron was all that was left from the very limited choice of clothing a very drunken Shizuka-sensei has presented them after taking a bath and after a few sips of sake that night.

Rei was also jealous of what happened the morning after when the three of them woke up at the back of the humvee. Takashi was rendered speechless upon seeing Saeko-san's almost naked form sleeping on his right leg, but when he saw Rei, he never even gave her a second look. Instead, he just said that she needed to dress up since the it's already morning. They were both wearing revealing clothes, but why is it that she never got the same reaction from Takashi as Saeko-san?

He was falling for her and she hated it. She hated it all.

And now, hearing them talk about their intimate moment just made her head ache and her heart want to burst. Yet, she cannot be angry with him.

How can she? She doesn't have the right? Not when she knows that she's sharing his heart with Saeko-san. Not when one wrong word or move will make her lose him.

She was afraid.

And the more her fear of losing him grows, the less she is able to do anything.

She really hated it all.

She gripped the white linen cloth that covered the table. She needed something to hold on to or else her own nails will dig into her hand for clutching it too tightly.

_"Fate is so cruel"_ she whispered to herself as she let her tears fall. She bowed her head to hide it from everyone else, however, she was unsuccessful.

"Rei onee-san?" Alice whispered from her right.

Rei was shaken out of her daze and looked at the girl beside her.

"What's wrong?"

Rei smiled, "Wrong? Everything seems to be wrong." She felt foolish for telling this to a little girl.

"Why? Are you hurt? Do you want Shizuka-sensei to look at it? She might have some medicine for you. Where does it hurt?" She asked.

"Here" she said as she settled a hand on her left chest. "Though I am not sure Shizuka-sensei has any medicine for this. I think I just need to have some rest and the pain will go away".

Alice looked at her thoughtfully before she nudged at Shizuka sensei who was sitting on her other side.

"Sensei, Rei onee-san said she hurts here", she pointed to her heart, "and needs some rest. Though if you have any medicine that would help her, that would be great."

Shizuka-sensei looked at Rei sadly. Rei was spacing out again, with a depressed look on her face. Her state was pitiful indeed, but she knew there was nothing she could do. She might be oblivious most of the time, but not when it comes to matters of the heart. She knew about the growing feelings Takashi has for Saeko-san and the struggle he had went through with it, considering that he has feelings for Rei as well. But Takashi seemed to have already sorted his feelings out and just needs to clear things with the other person. Rei on the other hand seemed to be getting worse and worse by the day. Evidently, an effect of Takashi's change of heart.

It was heartbreaking to watch Rei, but there was little she could do.

Upon seeing that Shizuka-sensei was not responding to her, Alice called out the Kota who was sitting opposite her.

"Kota-san, Rei onee-san is not feeling well. She needs to rest" Alice said earnestly.

"No, I'm fine Alice-chan!" Rei exclaimed. "Really, I'm fine." She doesn't want to make a big deal out of her current situation because she doesn't know how she would answer any question from her friends, from her mother and most especially from Takashi. Though she doubt it if Takashi would even care.

"Why don't you accompany her upstairs to rest Komuro" Kota said. Unlike the others, he is aware of Takashi's feelings for Rei, based on rumours at school before. But he is oblivious of Takashi's feelings for Saeko.

Takashi looked around before looking at Kota, "me?"

"Do you know anyone else named Komuro around here?" Saya interjected irritatingly.

Takashi looked at Saeko with a questioning look. The act was involuntary to him and he knew that he really didn't need for Saeko-san's permission because they are not even a couple. Heck, he didn't even have the time to discuss their situation because of Rei's sudden appearance. But somehow, he felt like he wanted and needed to clear out any possible misunderstanding that may arise between him and Saeko-san. Their relationship, whatever it is, is starting to get better, evidenced by the civil conversation (with a bit of laugh) they had upstairs a while ago. And he doesn't want that change, if not for the better.

He knew that being alone with Rei, even for just a moment, may lead to something which may totally destroy his chances of being with Saeko-san, seeing as the last 2 moments he was alone with Rei, some _things _did happen. But unlike before, he is more sure of what he wanted. And he wanted to be with Saeko. This time, he is confident that he will be able to control himself and just help Rei settle in to rest in one of the rooms and immediately come back down to the dining hall with everyone.

"There won't be any problem right Kiriko Obaa-sama?" Kota asked Mrs. Miyamoto, thinking that Takashi was looking at her, who was sitting beside Saeko-san.

Takashi was shaken out of his thoughts when he heard Kota speak. And just like everyone else, he was at a loss as to why Kota asked for Mrs. Miyamoto's approval.

Saya's eyebrow involuntarily twitched at the ignorance of Kota, but didn't utter a word.

"Go ahead Komuro-kun. Can you please accompany Rei upstairs?" Mrs. Miyamoto said.

Takashi looked at Saeko-san again, waiting for her to shake her head, say "no" or give any sign that she does not approve of him to be alone with Rei, and he will oblige. But there was none.

With a defeated sigh, he stood up and said "let's go Rei".

Rei glanced at Saeko-san, who gave her an approving smile and proceeded to eating her dinner. This didn't really reassure her.

_Was Saeko-san acting nonchalant despite being jealous of her and Takashi's current situation? Or she really doesn't care? _Rei thought. They have been together for some time, but still, she can't seem to understand how the other girl thinks.

Rei then stood up and walked towards Takashi, and side by side they proceeded upstairs.

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><p>Everyone continued eating dinner, talking in hushed voices so as not to attract any of Them. No one uttered a word about Rei and Takashi anymore, except for Mrs. Miyamoto. Her daughter may have had troubles reading Saeko, but not her. She is a mother after all.<p>

"You don't have to worry about anything Saeko-san" Kiriko said in a low voice only audible to the person beside her.

Saeko was surprised at the comment but never allowed that emotion to show in her face. She was indeed a bit worried about Takashi being alone with Rei. Jealousy and worry were the feelings that she realized she felt, but it doesn't mean that she consciously chose to feel that way. Truth be told, she was scared that those emotions, related to Takashi, surface more frequently now. She was afraid because she doesn't know how to correctly react during these situations and she hated not knowing what to do...she hated not being in control of her emotions and her situations.

Saeko also hated when Takashi looked at her questioningly before agreeing to accompanying Rei. Of course she understood what that look meant. She chose not to respond under everyone's gaze. She was unsure as to how her silent conversation with him would go if she chose to answer him. Because whether she says "yes" or "no" would definitely have a meaning to Takashi and to their friends.

Saeko turned her attention back to Mrs. Miyamoto who was still waiting for her response.

"I'm sorry Kiriko obaa-sama, but can you help me understand what you meant by that?" Saeko said politely.

Kiriko put down the glass she was holding and held the gaze of the younger girl, "you are too mature for your age, Saeko-chan...can I call you that?" she interjected.

"Of course Kiriko Obaa-sama, you may call me that" Saeko responded with a slight smile.

"I am a mother too Saeko-chan. Indeed, my daughter is easier to read than you seeing as you have mastered certain disciplines. I do not claim to fully understand your thoughts, but I believe I have an idea as to what you're thinking and how you're feeling."

Saeko remained silent. True enough, Kiriko Miyamoto's eyes have the same glow of understanding as her mother's and it frightened her a little.

"Takashi had loved my daughter since they were kids. But seeing him now, I can tell that a lot has changed. He is now more confident, more mature and is slowly growing to be a dependable young man. I can also tell that he already had a change of heart. This should have happened a lot earlier, when Rei and Hisashi became a couple, but for some reason Komuro-kun held on. But now, it seems to me like something or **someone** has changed him. I'm sure you know what I mean Saeko-chan..."

Kiriko Miyamoto's look has once again rendered Saeko speechless. It was the look that says that lying or pretending would be useless. She can't handle being under that intense gaze, so she chose to look at the candle in front of her and gently nod.

Of course, Saeko knew what she was talking about. She knew...but chose not to accept and understand.

"Please be more patient with Takashi. He had been a coward back then, continuously delaying confessing to Rei until it was too late. But I am sure that it won't happen this time" Kiriko continued.

Again, the older woman was right and Saeko knew it. In fact, Takashi was able to gather enough courage to talk about their circumstance already. But this time, though she had a hard time admitting it, she was the one who was scared. She was afraid to open up her sheltered heart only to be broken and hurt. She was afraid of losing control over herself once again and to not be able to think rationally.

Sadly, no matter how much she willed not to fall for him, the more fate brings their paths together. The more she pushes him away, the more he comes closer.

And now, as Takashi spends some time alone with Rei, her heart was in turmoil. She tried to calm down and convince herself that she doesn't care. But somehow, she can't bring herself not to care. Again...she was starting to lose to her own emotions as she feels the familiar constricting of her chest and difficulty to breathe whenever she thinks of Takashi.

Life is truly full of contradictions.

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><p><em>...to be continued...<em>

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><p>AN: Thanks very much for the reviews, favorites and follows that urged me to keep on writing. I really intended and wanted to finish this story, but i was finding it difficult to continue writing due to lack to time (...been very busy...) and will.

I hope to keep the momentum and finish this story as soon as possible.


	6. You can't blame a girl

**WHO'S TO BLAME?**

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><p>Disclaimer: I don't own High School of the Dead or any of its characters.<p>

Author's Note: A little too much drama...so be warned. Also my sincere apologies because I am not very fast at updating, so if you decide to still continue reading, Thank You.

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><p><strong>06: You can't blame a girl<strong>

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><p>Takashi was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall. He was hungry and irritated, but he tried to keep his cool because it was no use getting angry at a sick person who is currently resting on the lone bed in the room. He wanted to be down at the dining hall at that very moment. He is out of his wits worrying of what Saeko-san might be thinking right now. Is she jealous? Is she angry? Will she believe him if he said that he did not do anything inappropriate with Rei? Or will she simply not care?<p>

All the thinking is making his head ache. If only he was able to clearly tell Saeko-san his feelings and assure her that Rei is just part of his past, then the act of being alone with Rei will not be an issue.

It took him a while to realize who he really wants to be with and it even took a lot of nagging, not to mention a resounding slap, from Saya-san for him to finally gather enough courage to confess. That is why it frustrates him to no end that on the climax of it all, Rei suddenly appeared to burst his bubble and bring him back to square one. It's not like he can always approach Saeko-san and confess to her, right? Those types of situations call for perfect timing and mood.

"_Damn" he cursed to himself._

"Takashi" he jumped a little upon hearing her voice, shaking him out of his introspection.

"Hm"

"My chest hurts" she whispered.

Rei asked him to accompany her while resting and to stay until she falls asleep. He had tolerated Rei's selfish behaviour for the longest time, but at the moment, he was really annoyed.

She is the exact opposite of Saeko, who seems to be able to stand on her own and even bring out the best in him - encouraging him to be brave and courageous in the face of chaos.

"Takashi? I said my chest hurts" upon hearing no response from him, Rei called out to him again.

"Do you need me to get Shizuka-sensei for you?" came his nonchalant reply.

Rei sensed Takashi's disinterest and it made his heart ache more.

"No" was her quiet reply.

"Then do you need medicine or hot compress?"

"No"

"Then what do you need?!" anger was evident in his voice and he realized this a little too late. So he leaned back down again and took a deep breath.

It took a minute for Rei to respond upon hearing Takashi heated response, "I need you..."

Silence...

Rei closed her eyes and allowed her tears to fall. She didn't know if Takashi heard her or just purposefully ignored her, but whichever it was, she wouldn't know. But if it had been the latter, then that will be really painful.

"Did you think about what I said? Before we left Saya-san's house, I told you that..." Rei continued.

"Oh that..." Takashi cut her off.

Rei swallowed hard. His indifference is really upsetting her, but she pushed all those away because she wanted to continue conversing with him.

He sighed and somehow, Rei knew what the next words will be. So she held her breath and sat up to look at him. Through the dim light of a single candle that illuminated him, she can tell that he was sitting down on the floor and he was looking out the window at the night sky. The darkness was making it hard of her to read his expression, but his tone speaks volumes.

"I love you Takashi" she whispered. She knew that she sounded desperate and shameless, but at that moment, she didn't care. She knew that he is seconds away from rejecting her and she can't bear to hear the affirmation of her thoughts from his very lips.

"I know I have hurt you before, but you should have known that it was also painful on my part to wait for you" Rei said, the pain evident in her voice.

"So when Hisashi, my best friend, asked you out, you said 'yes'?" Takashi's voice started to rise.

Rei, in response, raised her voice too "what was I to do?"

"You could have said 'no'!" he exclaimed as he stood up to look at her.

"What? Say 'no' and just wait for a confession from you that will never come?" came Rei's heated reply as she also stood up and looked at Takashi in the eyes.

"So you knew about my feelings even before I confessed?"

"I..." Rei was taken aback and was unable to form a response.

"You knew didn't you? When we were kids, we promised..."

"We were young then, that didn't mean anything. I was waiting..."

"It meant nothing to you?" came Takashi's exasperated reply. "Not to me."

"So that's what this is about? You are purposefully doing this to get back at me. To make me feel what you felt when I rejected you?"

"What specifically am I doing Rei?"

"You..." Rei broke into sobs "you know that I love you and I asked if we can be together"

"And I will tell you now that I don't..."

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" Rei shouted as she covered her and violently shook her head.

And with a smaller voice, she looked up and said "No Takashi. This is what you wanted. You told me that you love me before. We can go back to being like that and be a couple, just like what you wanted."

Takashi hated Rei for what she did. He knew he had been a coward for not declaring his feelings for Rei earlier. He was also aware that it had been his fault for confessing to Rei when she was already with Hisashi, as a result he had been rejected. However, in his heart, he knew that Rei was aware of his feelings and that she also has feelings for him. She also confirmed this just now. So why did she choose to go out with another guy, and his best friend at that? Until now he was not able to understand her reasoning. And since both are his friends, everyday has been a torture for him, seeing them together.

He couldn't count the times that Saya has called him an 'idiot' for choosing to torment himself every day. However, he still opts to remain a martyr.

"This is what you want, right?" Rei pleaded as she approached him and gently touched his face. "I want you, we can be together if you just say yes"

Takashi balled his fist and looked away from her, avoiding her hand on his cheek.

"No" he whispered.

Rei looked at him in disbelief. She knew his answer even before she asked the question, but it still surprised her to hear it directly from him.

Seconds of silence passed. Takashi stood motionless as he waited for a slap, a push or anything from Rei, but what came next was neither but words he hadn't expected...

"Is it because of Saeko-san?"

..

..

For the nth time, Saeko's eyes involuntarily looked at the stairs. They have long finished eating and she had been conversing with Mrs. Miyamoto about their struggles since the zombies started attacking. But for some reason, the thought of Takashi and Rei being alone in a dark room upstairs never left her mind.

She knew that she doesn't have a right to be angry at him, they are not even a couple. So why is it that she is having a difficulty in suppressing the green-eyed monster inside of her?

She did have guys she liked before, but because of her resolve to never love, she didn't have much of a difficulty in handling her feelings. Since that eventful night, she has decided not to open her heart to anyone because she was tainted by a darkness so grave that no man will be able to fully love her for who she is. But Takashi is different. He knew her deepest secret and still, he accepted her. And if her intuition has been correct, he was trying to confess to her earlier, before Rei interrupted them. And this made matters worse for her, because now, she has no more reason to deny him of her heart.

"You really like him, don't you?"

Saeko was surprised at the unexpected question, but was able to maintain her cool. "I am sorry Kiriko obaa-sama, but I am not very comfortable to talk about this topic. I hope you understand."

Kiriko studied the young woman's face and in her mind, she applauded the way the girl kept it together and the manner she responded. Saeko-chan had been very direct without being offensive. She allowed a small smile to tug on her lips before she answered, "I understand. Then, would you like to accompany me upstairs and call Takashi-kun? It has been a while and he hasn't come back down to eat yet. I can take care of Rei in his place."

"I think I will just help with the cleaning of our plates Kiriko obaa-sama. I will leave some food for Takashi." She was still unsure of what she wants and decided to avoid any unnecessary situations, so she wanted to leave him alone with Rei.

Kiriko once more looked at her face for a moment, before agreeing to the girl's decision. "Okay then", she said and stood up. But she stopped upon hearing Rei's voice.

"_Stop! Stop! Stop!"_

Everybody looked up the stairs with the same thing on their mind, if Rei keeps on shouting, then it will only be a matter of time before the zombies start to swarm on their hide out. And so with Kiriko on the lead, they filed upstairs only leaving Alice, Zeke and Shizuka-sensei behind.

Thankfully, Rei stopped shouting. They were already in front of the bedroom door when they heard her voice again.

"_Is it because of Saeko-san?"_

Saeko stopped in her tracks. This is what she has been avoiding to happen, for her to be dragged between Rei and Takashi. She also felt all eyes on her making her bow her head so as not to see any accusing gaze.

"This is not something we should be listening to" Kiriko obaa-sama suddenly said. "Let me handle this and remind them to not be too loud. You should go back and help Shizuka-san with clearing up the table or go to the other room to rest."

And with this, the other left.

..

..

"Is it because of Saeko-san?" she asked.

"Don't drag her into this Rei"

"And why wouldn't I? Everything changed since she entered our lives. She did nothing but seduce you and get your attention even though she knew that your heart already belonged - " Rei stopped talking upon seeing the threatening look in Takashi's eyes. She was hurt and she was blabbering words which even she knew were not true. She knew Saeko-san never intended to seduce Takashi. She hated to admit it but without much effort, Saeko-san is indeed beautiful and sexy despite being covered with blood and sweat. However, she was sure when she mentioned that Takashi's heart did belong to her at some point. So she decided stand by what she said and match his glare.

Takashi closed his eyes in an attempt to control his temper. "Once again Rei, do not drag Saeko-san into this discussion. This is between you and me so don't make this anymore difficult than it already is."

Unsure of what to do...Rei started to cry.

In front of Takashi she cried.

She knew that it was cheating to cry in front of him because it was his weakness. It was any man's weakness. He can't bear to see her suffer. However, she doesn't have any other option because clearly, words aren't getting through to his head. And it seems as if anything is say is doing nothing but makes matters worse for her. She is already saying things she didn't mean out of her desperation.

Takashi averted his gaze, not wanting to see her in so much pain. He knew that if he let his heart soften and take pity on her, he will willingly accept her love and be together with her. But he also knew that with each passing second that he see Saeko, he will regret his decision. If he let himself be dragged by his sympathy, he will risk losing whatever connection he and Saeko has established – and he wouldn't want that to happen. So he chose to look away.

"When will you stop hurting me Rei?" he uttered.

Rei looked up at the unexpected question.

"When you chose Hisashi over me, I never asked for anything. I remained by your side and continue to be a good friend to both you and Hisashi despite feeling my heart break every single day that I see you with him. I even stayed with you when you mourned for him and didn't utter any complain. And now that I found someone that I love and someone that will return my feelings, you won't even let me go and do as I please? When will you stop hurting me Rei? Haven't you had enough?"

Rei was at a loss of words. He was asking her to let him go.

"Do you love her?" she asked.

"Yes"

"Do you love her more than you loved me?"

Takashi just smiled a bitter smile. "I loved you longer..." was his only response.

And as if on cue, they heard a soft knock on the door. It was Kiriko obaa-sama.

"You are being too loud Rei. We do not want to attract unwanted attention, do we?" she said with a smile.

"I'm sorry mother" she said, turning her back to the two people present as she wiped her tears.

"Also, Takashi-kun, let me cover for you now. You should finish eating and let me take care Rei"

Takashi looked momentarily at younger girl. She hasn't responded yet on his request and he just can't leave their conversation hanging.

Sensing that Takashi is not yet leaving, Rei said "it's okay Takashi, you should go."

Takashi nodded and reluctantly walked out. And just as he was about to close the door, he heard Rei call out to him, "Takashi, it's hard but I understand. Still...you can't blame a girl for trying, right?"

He remained by the doorway for a moment, to let her last words sink before actually closing the door behind him.

..

..

Takashi proceeded to the dining area just as Kiriko obaa-sama said. However, he has long lost his appetite but still knew that he has to eat something. They do not know when they'll be able to have a proper meal next, so he has to fill himself up in preparation for the ensuing battle the following day.

Shizuka-sensei was still in the dining hall when he arrived and she immediately served him his food "here you go Takashi-kun"

"Thank you Shizuka-sensei"

"Everybody's already upstairs preparing for bed, only Saeko-chan is left in the kitchen. She will be out in a minute" she said with a wink before heading upstairs in a hurry to put little Alice-chan to sleep.

Takashi just stared at her dumbfounded before shaking his head with a laugh. And true enough, Saeko-san went out of the kitchen after a few minutes.

"Shizuka-sensei..."

"Oh Saeko-san, Shizuka-sensei just went upstairs"

Saeko was surprised to see Takashi sitting by the table. She thought he was still conversing with Rei and that Shizuka-sensei will be by the hall waiting for her, just as she said. His sudden appearance has caught her by surprise and with the words of Rei still echoing in her mind, she now feels very uncomfortable to be alone with Takashi.

"I'll go ahead and rest as well..."

"Stay" it was not a command, but a request. "Please join me while I finish my dinner, this won't take a while" he continued with an awkward smile. He was afraid that she will decline. At that moment, he didn't know what he wanted to do or say, whether he wanted to continue their conversation from before or not.

Only one thing was clear, he needed her to be close to him. And he knew that that 'need' and 'want' had been evident in his request. And it made the woman in front of her sit down across from him, wallowing in the same uncertainty and awkward air that filled both their madly beating hearts.

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><p><em>to be continued...<em>

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><p>AN: Thank you very much for the reviews, favorites and follows. Also, I would very much appreciate your thoughts regarding the story.


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